Us, women

 For how long can one fight on trivial issues? For how long can we fight with our loved ones for things like, going for a play at 7 ; Going for a guest lecture which ends post-sunset? Not for long. I can't. I can't stand silent treatments, so I am usually torn between following my heart and thinking about the restrictions. I have tried to reason with my family, extended family, cousins, second cousins and the only argument they come up with, is our security and by our I mean mine and other girls' who feel the same way, as if the whole world is after our life, the robbers are out of work for banks are all corrupt and the rapists are forever roaming around in Delhi. I mean, No. This world doesn't stop after sunset and so we shouldn't have to, either. 

On the face of it, people are so liberal, they don't restrict anymore, there is no restriction on what we eat, what we drink, what we wear, where we go, but actually, there is a glitch. There is no restriction on what we eat, what we drink, what we wear, where we go - Before sunset. Post sun set, there isn't much option. One could either, argue and continue with the schedule or one could suffocate oneself, let go off an opportunity to learn something and be the ‘lady’. I'd choose the former over the latter any day. Any day. But it's tiring, I have the ovaries to fight with the robbers and the rapists and the kidnappers, that's not tiring at all, what's tiring is the arguing-with-people-part. It takes a lot of our time and energy and again, our brothers don't have to drain themselves of all the energy because, well, let's not state the obvious here and waste more energy, and so when we’re arguing, we’re not always just gathering good reasons, we’re also controlling our jealous nerves and that makes the whole process slower and more difficult. 

We want to feel okay if our guy friend asks us to hop in his bike and go somewhere, honestly, how free are we if we have to do calculations before getting on a vehicle.

Most of the time, we don't give a fuck but sometimes, we can almost feel the stares seep through our body. It's humiliating, so one decides to not feel that way once in a while and be A-okay with doing what other people expect him/her to do- Not to get on a bike with the friend of an opposite gender, i.e . This problem is obviously not limited to any one gender.

I'm not sure if it's the culture that we are so deeply rooted in? Or is it just the fear of what the other 'cultured' person will say? I don't know. All I know, is that we want to use our energy in our work and not in justifying what we did. We want to be safe on the streets post-sunset (being alert all the time, thinking about all the previous groping incidents that have happened, is annoying, nobody wants to have the same alert expression throughout the day.) We don't want to think ten crore times before getting in a friend's car or bike, we want to be able to work to our potential and not be restricted by the society. And I think this could all be achieved if people just may be may be, stop judging others? We could probably build a lot better society.                                                                                                                                                                                                     

Like Optimus Prime, I Transformed.

I have been planning to start a blog since a very long time now, it's not just because I'm tired of over thinking on a particular subject, but also because it is like I discover something new every time and I can not always be sure enough to tell the other person about it. 

I get ideas, like everybody else, some wild, some subtle, some small and some humongous but unlike some very daring people I have repeatedly failed in carrying them out or even in giving them voice. 

There are things we all realise, at some point of time, through our experiences and many a times, these are some very significant life lessons. When this year started, I wanted something life changing to happen but what I hadn't realised was that, that the process had already started.

It was such a trivial thing which had acted like a catalyst but it changed my life. I had lost something very valuable, and I used to be the kind of person who'd let things-materialistic things have over-power me and so when I lost it, I was so disheartened that initially, I didn't want to accept it. 

Later, I cried about it, I started getting dreams about getting it back, I pretended as if nothing had happened but I was upset and a lot. Some days later, it hit me that it's never coming back and for other people, it was just a phone. 

For me, it was much more and why? I started thinking about it and I thought, how shallow. 

How shallow can I be? It was after all, a non-living, small working machine, neither a person nor my pet. Not even the roof above my head, not the bed I sleep on, not food or anything which is even remotely related with my life. It was a tool to facilitate my life, it was not my life. I realised my life was here, with my parents, in my house, in the college, inside my classroom, in the books I read, it was not tied to a thing.

 I realised I had given it too much control over myself and that I had been doing the same with all my things. I started being thankful, to the universe for working in my favour, for giving me all I had, my parents, my siblings, my friends. And that, changed my life. Significantly.

And then things ran smoothly, for ten seconds. New events started unfolding, one by one, every second I was torn between thinking deeply or letting it slide and I found myself over-thinking, over-reading every situation and I cursed myself for it. 

But now, at this point of my life I feel if there is a reason for an event to turn the way it did, one should find it and if not, then shmurr, we'll forget about it. *Random Thought Alert*- It's up to us, to take cues from life, it is a choice. If we're by ourselves, we don't owe our existence to anyone and so, our choices are justified  justified. Every time. Every time. Right?