We're 20 something and we have a lot to accomplish. Point taken. Marked, highlighted and double underlined. We want to exhaust ourselves but we don't want to miss out on anything, and with this juggling comes a bucket full of worries.
Every friend I have come across in the past few weeks either needs a date, a car, a job, a vacation or a truck full of alcohol.
Last week, a cousin of mine who's also my age came home. She was looking a little worn off so my brother asked her if it was the summer that had gotten to her nerves or was she just randomly tired, she said she was none but the moment she looked at him I knew what it was. It was her desire to leave the car keys on the table, change into something comfortable and just walk away, far away from these questions and others.
Reading the expressions on her face, I answered for her and told my brother that we're at this stage of our life where smiling takes effort so he should just let things be. We all laughed a little but we all knew that it was the truth. The truth of our times.
Soon enough, we found ourselves sitting in the car waiting for my brother to get snacks for the evening and talking endlessly about this point in our lives where change seemed like a distant reality. She told me about the chair she sits on, the table she puts her books on and about the walls she stares at. On other occasions, I would have tried to help her but at this point, I knew I couldn't be of any help because the chair she sits on, the table she keeps her books on, the wall she stares at, seemed more familiar to me.
We were at different dimensions but we were living the same life, and it wasn't until recently when I realised that it might take more than courage to take control of your life but it doesn't take much to step aside from the rat race and do things for ourselves.
It was yet another summer night where I was watching movies back to back and I hadn't eaten much, everything was exactly like the night before and the one before it. But what happened next, gave me a little peep into a disastrous future, I could have.
I was stiff knees down, I couldn't feel my feet and I just couldn't stand up, my knees just wouldn't lock. All I could do was to call out my mom and try not to fall and all I could think was about my life minus the legs.
It was the most horrifying moments of my life. It altered me, this little moment.
I thought there was so much I could have done and now I am just going to regret wasting my life. I thought if we're not doing anything for the people around us, if we are not making a difference in the world, what are we even doing with ourselves?
One day, we'd just get old and our legs won't work for real, our hands will shiver and our brain will give up. What then. Wouldn't we end up questioning our existence, wouldn't we curse ourselves for not finding the reasons and would the reasons even be enough?
And I thought, shouldn't we, already be pacing down, then?
Last week, a cousin of mine who's also my age came home. She was looking a little worn off so my brother asked her if it was the summer that had gotten to her nerves or was she just randomly tired, she said she was none but the moment she looked at him I knew what it was. It was her desire to leave the car keys on the table, change into something comfortable and just walk away, far away from these questions and others.
Reading the expressions on her face, I answered for her and told my brother that we're at this stage of our life where smiling takes effort so he should just let things be. We all laughed a little but we all knew that it was the truth. The truth of our times.
Soon enough, we found ourselves sitting in the car waiting for my brother to get snacks for the evening and talking endlessly about this point in our lives where change seemed like a distant reality. She told me about the chair she sits on, the table she puts her books on and about the walls she stares at. On other occasions, I would have tried to help her but at this point, I knew I couldn't be of any help because the chair she sits on, the table she keeps her books on, the wall she stares at, seemed more familiar to me.
We were at different dimensions but we were living the same life, and it wasn't until recently when I realised that it might take more than courage to take control of your life but it doesn't take much to step aside from the rat race and do things for ourselves.
It was yet another summer night where I was watching movies back to back and I hadn't eaten much, everything was exactly like the night before and the one before it. But what happened next, gave me a little peep into a disastrous future, I could have.
I was stiff knees down, I couldn't feel my feet and I just couldn't stand up, my knees just wouldn't lock. All I could do was to call out my mom and try not to fall and all I could think was about my life minus the legs.
It was the most horrifying moments of my life. It altered me, this little moment.
I thought there was so much I could have done and now I am just going to regret wasting my life. I thought if we're not doing anything for the people around us, if we are not making a difference in the world, what are we even doing with ourselves?
One day, we'd just get old and our legs won't work for real, our hands will shiver and our brain will give up. What then. Wouldn't we end up questioning our existence, wouldn't we curse ourselves for not finding the reasons and would the reasons even be enough?
And I thought, shouldn't we, already be pacing down, then?
Very well written and very inspiring!
ReplyDeleteThis spirit can be aroused in everybody, you just need the shock and shaking.
A great job capturing the chronic procrastination problem we 20somethings face.
ReplyDeletePursuing something out of mere obligation is one (when you refer to the same chair, table and wall situation) but I want to highlight something else.
It hurts me to see that we undermine this age. This is the time when we'll be the most excited and active and if we don't push ourselves to take control of our own lives then how do we plan to do for the rest of the time?
It is very easy to get pressured down all thanks to the flourishing social media but we don't remember that for a perfect snapchat of someone is actually a tenth attempt.
It is going to be ever so challenging to get outside the comfort zone but you'll have to just effin' do it.
Couldn't agree more.
DeleteLoved your fresh approach to writing. The best thing about this write-up is that we can extract so much out of it, depending on our own messed up circumstances. That's an achievement for any writer.
ReplyDeleteLoved your fresh approach to writing. The best thing about this write-up is that we can extract so much out of it, depending on our own messed up circumstances. That's an achievement for any writer.
ReplyDeleteBrilliant Somya. Exceptionally proud of you girl.
ReplyDeleteWay to go. All the best in life.
Brilliant Somya. Exceptionally proud of you girl.
ReplyDeleteWay to go. All the best in life.